Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Mason

Purpose: To persuade others to our point of view
L:G: Use emotive language to persuade our audience
S:O:S
  • One reason
  • Add detail
  • Use emotive words
  • Talk to the audience

Fantastic Mr Fox
Mr Dombroski, the three awful farmers are certainly  in the wrong because how would the fox eat? Why should boggis, bunce and bean kill Mr fox? And the three farmers can go down to the shop to buy their meat.
Firstly the fox must eat food like us.How would you feel if you didn’t get food for a long time?

Secondly Boggis, Bunce and Bean still should not dig up Mr and Mrs Foxes house. Why should Boggis, Bunce and Bean kill fantastic Mr Fox killing his chickens?

Finally, their chickens will die any way. The awful farmers are already full on food. They always eat food like disgusting meat!! They can just go down to New World or Countdown to get meat.


Written  by Mason Gadsby                             

8 comments:

  1. I like how you have put capital letters and full stops into your story.
    You have also used emotive words.
    Next time add more detail.
    From Amy Vickers Room 20

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the way you have talked to the audience in your paragraghs.
    I also like the way you have a reason in every paragraghs.
    Next time add a bit more detail to your paragraghs.
    By Zeta Barber!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mason I like how you put why should boggis,bunce and bean kill fantastic mr fox
    Mason I like how you put their chickens will die any way.
    Mason next time you could use more emotive language
    by Mason gadsby Room 20

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like how you said that the farmers can go to the shops and get food.
    I also like how you said that the chickens would die any way.
    Maybe next time you could say that what the foxes home looks like.

    By Addison and Room 20
    By

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like how you said that the farmers can go to the shops and get food.
    I also like how you said that the chickens would die any way.
    Maybe next time you could say that what the foxes home looks like.

    By Addison and Room 20
    By

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like how you have added detail to your story.
    I like how you have added your one reason.
    Next time you could make it more exicting.
    From Hannah Watkins Room 20

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mason I like the way you have used detail in your story. You have added emotive words and have persuaded the three farmer's that they shouldn't have dug up Mr Foxes house. Remember to use the right punctuation
    From Danni

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mason I like how you have added fullstops.
    I also like how you have added capital letters.
    But you could add more emotive words and make it a bit more exciting.
    From Hannah Watkins Room 20

    ReplyDelete